While some women will instantly fall in love with their unborn child upon discovering that they are pregnant, the feeling is quite the opposite for Stacy Black*. The overly depressed receptionist stated that she only feels hatred every time she stares at her growing abdomen.
"This 'creature' wasn't made in love. I was raped and beaten, and this is the end result of the ordeal. It is like I'm paying a price for being raped," she said.
Black, during a telephone interview with THE STAR, said that she was the victim of one of the most dastardly acts on March 13.
"My friend and I had gone to a party, and she slept at my home for the night. I accompanied her to the bus stop some time after 4 o'clock [in the morning] because she had to take the first bus to get home in time for work. My life changed after she got on that bus," she said.
Taking a deep sigh, Black, who resides in the Corporate Area, said that she was ambushed by two masked men just a few houses away from her home and taken to an abandoned building nearby.
"One of them stuck an object in my side and told me that my tripe and liver would be on the ground if I utter a word. After ripping off my shorts and top, they roughly had their way with me. I still can remember the stinking breath of one of them, as he pulled on my upper lip mercilessly as he came to his climax," she said.
Black stated that after both men had their way with her, she grabbed her torn clothing and decided to make a dash for it, but was painfully stopped in her tracks.
"I never reached the exit of the building before I felt a kick in my stomach. Apparently one of their cronies was there watching the whole time. I was slapped across the face countless times. My ears whistled and the third man forced his way inside of me, and my entire body felt like I was being burnt with fire," she said.
Black said that she didn't report the matter to the police until weeks later because she was too embarrassed to relate the incident to anyone, and she was afraid of being killed by her rapists.
"I am not sure who they were, but I knew it must have been someone from my community because they seem to know the place well. I never tell a soul, not even my mother. I just went in and tried to bathe away all of what I was feeling. I called in sick the following week," she said.
Sinking further into depression, Black said that she remained indoors out of fear and embarrassment.
"I am afraid as even when I see the guys on the corner, I don't know if it's them. I eventually went to the police about two weeks later and gave a statement. I was told that a rape kit couldn't be done as I waited too long," she said.
In April, Black discovered that she was pregnant, and that, she said, added to her pain.
"I don't have a boyfriend so I know it must have been when I was raped. Right now, I am at the point of committing suicide because I have visited four doctors who told me that they will not perform an abortion on me because it's illegal. I don't want this bastard child," she said.
Currently, Black said she is experiencing morning sickness and prays that her body will naturally reject the pregnancy someday.
"I have researched ways in which to do a home abortion, and I think I have tried them all but nothing works. I never wanted my first pregnancy to be like this. There are days when I feel like cutting myself open and just rip out what is inside of me," she said.
* Name changed