I am Tired of The Abortions And Being My Boyfriend's Toilet Paper

I am from a very poor family where my mum is the only one taking care of my three siblings and I with her petty trading, while my dad just lazes around our one room apartment which serves as our bedroom, parlor, kitchen etc.

I never had that parental love and care every child gets from their parents. I always took care of myself, advised myself, got whatever I wanted for myself by myself, even though my mum always tried her best to put food on the table and send us to school.

I was in my Junior Secondary School when this older boy started showing interest in me. He was like 10 yrs older than me.

Even though I used to see him as an uncle, he started writing me love notes, bought me gifts like pants, textbooks, perfumes, cash etc, things my parents couldn’t afford, so I started liking him and seeing him like a God sent fellow. He started inviting me to his house where he did some funny things to me each time I visited.

I was always struggling with him to stop. At times before he could even penetrate he would have released on me already. That was how I got pregnant at 15 years without knowing because to me I didn’t really do anything. After 3 months nosy neighbors started noticing some changes in me.

My mum was not always around. My now so-called boyfriend also noticed and took me for a pregnancy test which confirmed positive. We then decided it was too early and he took me for an abortion, unfortunately the doctor did a bad job.

I started bleeding after some days with very heavy flow and thick blood to almost the point of death. My dad then went an reported what was happening to my aunt that stays around us.

She came and took me to the hospital. At the hospital the scan revealed I had an incomplete abortion, and that I needed to wash my womb ASAP or else I was going to bleed to death. I was taken into another verse of painful process. I was asked who got me pregnant but I refused to say a word. After everything I became okay and got back on my feet.

Fast forward to 5 yrs later. I was living with that same guy in his house because he got admission for me where he relocated to, far away from my parents. After staying at home for so long after my SSCE and doing a lot of sales girl job for people and receiving a lot of insults of my life, I had no choice but to grab the opportunity.

I started from pre-degree, after which I would be given entry into 100 level. My parents only managed to raise my school fees, and that was it; no feeding, accommodation, or even money for upkeep, so I had to depend on him 4 everything. I did everything in this life to please him, but he was never satisfied.

I did everything in the house: washing, cleaning, cooking, etc, still he looked for every little opportunity to hit me. At times he beat me so hard that I felt like dying.

I had bruises all over my body and all that, but still I would be the one to beg for forgiveness or else he stop buying food, or threaten to throw me out on the street. He never ceases to remind me that he is my god and without him I am nothing.

This is 2015, I am in my 200L. All I want to do is finish school, get a job and help my family. My parents till now only manage to pay my school fees.

I have had it up to here with this man. I am going crazy already. I don’t have my own money to pack out or even take care of myself. My parents are still struggling to survive back at home with my other siblings. I can’t ask for what they don’t have.

This man has refused to change, he treats me like poo. What ever I say is insult to him. Even though he has promised to marry me, but if a relationship can be this painful and unhappy, I wonder what marriage will be like.

Right I now have lost count of how many abortions I have committed for him which he sees as no big deal. Please I need all the help, advice and anything in the world I can get to save me from this pains and suffering, because I am losing my mind already. At a time I even thought of killing myself to end it all.

I promise that all I have written here is nothing but the truth. God Almighty is my witness. People see me outside as a happy girl. Even though I try so hard to be happy and look my best but, deep down within me i’m not.

I pray to God everyday to change my story but I don’t know what I ever did wrong to deserve all these unhappiness, pains, sorrow and everything.”



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