My Wife Just Doesn’t Like Sex

My wife is 30 and I am 35. We have one child together, but I have three children with two different women. When I became a Christian, I decided to settle down.

 I told the pastor that it was my desire to become a leader of the church, and he said all leaders should be married and set a good example to others.

There was this single girl who the pastor suggested that I talk to, to see if we could become friends. I started to talk to her and she was anxious for us to become friends. In my church they don't believe in going on dates.

They feel that when you go on dates, you may have sex. I started to buy her little gifts, and we spent hours on the phone talking at nights.

After six months, I realised that I had grown to love this girl and we decided to see our pastor. He asked if we were sure that we loved each other and wanted to get married, and we said yes. So we planned a date. l

This girl did not have much experience with sex, but I was a bad man. She was not a virgin, but she only had sex twice before she met me. We started going for counselling and whenever the pastor mentioned sex, she was quiet.

The congregation helped us with our wedding.

We did not have sex before our wedding and I must tell you that looking back, I can see why some men say that they are not buying 'puss in bag'. On our wedding night, I had to force myself on her to get her to open up to me.

I succeeded, but then she cried for the rest of the night, and I had to hug her and apologise. The next day I tried again and it was the same thing.

I asked her if I was too big and she said no, but she does not like sex. I got some cream and I anointed her vagina to make it easier for her, but she started crying again. Things improved as the weeks went by, because I decided I would not give up and I wanted to have sex. She stopped crying after I called one of my babymothers and asked her to meet with me for some sex.

I am not enjoying my married life because my wife and I are always fussing over sex. Sometimes I would love for my wife to touch me, but anytime I touch her, she pulls away. I told her that I will talk to the pastor about her problem, but she said she doesn't want him to know our business. So I am turning to you, and I am wondering whether you would meet with us and give us some suggestions.

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