I Want My Man To Beat Me; Abusive Relationships Turns Me On

I did not grow up with my parents. I grew up with my aunts and grandmother and a whole bunch of extended family members. However, growing up, people would always yell at me. I was also surrounded by a lot of fighting and cursing.

It was always family fighting against each other. I think my childhood experience shaped me into the type of person I am today.

Because I grew up around people who fought and argued often, I have this mentality that in a relationship it's OK to fight and argue. I am always starting arguments with my boyfriend. I know that's not good. In addition to that, I am turned on by rough men.

I feel like I would enjoy being in an abusive relationship. I know this is crazy. However, I am trying to change. I pray every day that God will help me to leave the past behind and help me to change the way I think.

Do you think I am scarred for life? I look forward to reading your response.

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